Attention Deficit Honey – ADH (a.k.a. AD-pH)
Updated: Oct 4, 2019
For men's eyes ONLY! The secret of the oldest mystery in the world …revealed by science!
What do you think is the oldest mystery in the world? And how much would you pay to know the answer to it? Is it where we came from? Or where we go after we pass away?
No. The question that at least half of the planet’s population would give an arm and a leg, or ear, or elbow for, is “how to understand women.” And if you want to know the answer, keep reading.
By now, it should be clear that this is not our typical travel blog. However, it is very relevant, as understanding this centuries-old mystery, will improve not only your life but also your travel experiences. Especially for you, gentleman. And don’t worry, if she is the first one to read this article, she will gladly pass it along.
We are all so busy living our lives. Our daily roller-coaster reality throughout the week: Monday morning comes knocking, pushing most of us out of bed, thrusting us into a long commute, and catapulting us back into the dreadful life of the workplace. At night, we all (men and women) come home exhausted by a long day at the office.
She had a bad day, which she wants to share with you, and your task is just to listen – don’t even try to say what she should have done or said. He also wants to find some relief from his long day at work, but rather than sharing with her how his boss had tested his nerves numerous times, he would rather watch some television and drink his favorite beer.
Does any of this sound familiar? It’s no mystery that men and women communicate and deal with everything differently. Figuring out and pointing out these distinctions made many philosophers, scientists, filmmakers, writers, comedians, but especially marriage and couple therapists, very busy in the last 35 million years, and not to mention, very rich.
So, the sooner you know the truth, the better. Because even during the most relaxed time, when you are finally on that dreamy vacation, you are not safe. You may think you purchased a trip to a paradise island with your honey, but one wrong move, word, look, and you find yourself on the Hell Inferno excursion, floating away from paradise, all alone on a raft, that is sinking faster than the Titanic.
You may have been too relaxed and had a few extra drinks at the bar’s resort, or may not have taken enough pictures of her sitting on the balcony of the restaurant’s veranda, or captured the perfect scenic shot on the top of Kilimanjaro; anything and everything can be the root cause that made her upset.
Whatever the circumstances, you are often puzzled by her distressed reaction. Why is she acting so weird? Some of the boldest luminaries would confront the situation and ask her, “What’s wrong?”, demanding an explanation for her strange behavior; but she will unconditionally refuse to respond to his (stupid) questions. Leaving her to believe that you are insensitive, a bore, and most likely, make her even more agitated with you.
He is a moron, an idiot! How can he not know why I am upset? He doesn’t understand me! He doesn’t love me! Thoughts will start swirling in her head like a tornado.
Her silence or her screaming, both popular methods of communicating her dissatisfaction with you, will knock you off your feet faster than any nature-made Tsunami. But FINALLY, science arrived at the last minute to throw you a raft, a lifesaver, to make sure you will never be in this situation again. Since Ancient Greece, we didn’t know how to understand her and make her happy, till now!
First, the bad news: my friend, the problem is you, not her! A golden rule to know and live by from now on. But don’t take my word for it, there is new scientific evidence.
Today, thanks to the sensibility of cutting-edge research in the field called “clueless men,” the source and remedy of such recurring dynamics between women and men have been scientifically recognized, diagnosed, and published in the well-known Journal of the Neurological Institute for Keeping A Happy Wife. The behavioral distress experienced by a “neglected or misunderstood” woman has been identified as Attention Deficit Honey (scientifically referred to as Homo Australopithecus Don’t Try to Figure Her Out).
You may have behaved carelessly and didn’t pay enough attention to the deterioration of a woman’s balance that can be explained with the same simplicity as the pH of water. In fact, a woman behaves just like water: she must maintain the right body/mental balance of pH, and to accomplish it, you must tend to her, tell her certain things, flatter her, caress her, hug and kiss her and, ultimately, routinely make love to her. Suddenly, in a very simple manner, you have resolved the root of all problems, and the Attention Deficit Honey (a.k.a. AD-pH) disappears; she smiles and regains her calm.
It’s simple chemistry, and luckily for you, you don’t have to memorize the periodic table to make her happy. You only need to learn to read her pH and take care of the situation before she gets tense and stressed.
Just in time to save our humanity; this is the breakthrough that scientists finally figured out and are distributing to the rest of us - men. You may never understand her, but now you know how to diffuse and deal with ALL her moods. Oh, and one more piece of advice, that was included in this scientific discovery: when all else fails, try the simple “You are right, honey.” That phrase will disarm any woman. And more than likely, that night you will be getting Attention Profusion from your Honey (a.k.a. APH) but that is for another blog…
Disclosure: these fun photos are from an art event we attended while visiting Slovakia, Viktoria's home county. It is called Tricklandia in Smokovec, High Tatry. The rest of the photos are from our hike in the area.
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